Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have post one night stand depression
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