...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
