She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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