being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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