You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
