I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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