at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
