Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
