piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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