just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My ass is underappreciated
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
