i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
