I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize