Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
