The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
