I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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