so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
