we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
