She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize