i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
