Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
