I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize