Will you blow on my dice?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
