I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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