Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
