I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You made out with two different species that night
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
