i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I need to stop coming to work sober
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
