She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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