BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
