also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
why is half of my head shaved?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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