I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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