JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
