Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
