did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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