Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
