We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
