If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
