You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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