A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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