He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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