Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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