My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think my moral compass just broke
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
