The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Your penis caused this!
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