Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Farmville is her only friend.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
