I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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