The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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