loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
