So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
