Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
did you just send me my own nude
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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