Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
