Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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