How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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