I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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