good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
