I want to stick my p in your. b.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
