your room smells of hookers.
And success
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
where are you?
Hypothermia
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
