What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
