have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
