i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
