So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
