he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
