i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
