is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
