If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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