C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
