Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
