I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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