Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize