Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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